Don’t you ever hate how the past always controls you. I hate how I keep thinking of the past and I can’t move on from what I want to really get rid of. Sometimes I wish I didn’t say some things but whats done is done. Right now I’m just trying to remove it from my mind and memory. I’m getting better at it. All I just don’t get is how come my mind keeps going back and keeps thinking about the same thing over and over again. I guess I realized that its almost like a bad habit. Well I hope this thought gets erased soon because I really don’t care about it anymore. People can like whoever they want. I’ll still talk and I guess and I hope I’ve changed. I’ll be more quiet and think before I speak. Also I’ll be myself and I hope I don’t start changing weirdly on myself out of no where. I think that’s why I keep going back to that memory because I’m regretting and don’t get why I acted the way I did. Said the things I said. I don’t really get myself at this point. I’m learning and all I just want is to forget and still have them as friend. The thing is maybe its just me… You never know. I need to not care, think so much, to look into the past, etc. Practice makes perfect but I’ll not be a master. Everyone is learning and so here I am. I am re-learning everything and I’m getting better at socializing. Good for me. It’s funny how I’m writing whats not even on my mind at this point. Whatever. Well I’m out.

I’m starting to remember things I’ve forgotten because the people I’m surrounded with have reminded me of the things I’ve forgotten. I really appreciate everything everyone has done for me. I never realized how lucky I was. I’m glad that so many people have helped me. I know I’m not alone as I thought I was. It’s only about opening up and telling the right people. But I think anyone can be that because everyone is just trying to live life like anyone else. It’s not just me, there are billions of other people out there struggling with life. Yet all of us continue living and just trying to make the best out of it and go on without knowing why we go on. I’ve had my eyes checked and now they are fully open instead of being completely shut. I’m getting the exposure I definitely need. I’ve been enlightened with the light and now I’m trying to adapt and adjust to the changes that have been made.